Humor

A proper obituary for a famous shelving unit; an ode to a vacuum flask; a Socratic dialogue on product naming; a product recall for a disco ball; a rondeau for LED lighting, set to music for four voices. These are only five of the fifty shades of IKEA, printed on paper, flatpacked inside glossy cover stock, no assembly required. Just open and read. Fifty Shades of IKEA is a collection of fifty essays, stories or poems, each written in a different writing genre, none of which is "abusive relationship erotica."

It's Good to be Bad: A Humorous Look at the Good Side of Iconic VillainsEver wondered if there's a silver lining to the darkest of clouds? Welcome to "It's Good to be Bad," a rib-tickling journey through the world of literature, folklore, and children's stories, where we put on our rose-tinted glasses and find the goodness hidden within our favorite baddies.From the Giant in Jack and the Beanstalk to the Wicked Witch of the West, we've assembled a motley crew of infamous villains and given them a fresh new look. With our signature blend of humor and wit, we'll delve into the misunderstood motives and surprisingly noble intentions of these dastardly characters. You might just find yourself rooting for the bad guys by the time you turn the last page!In this laughter-filled exploration, we'll unravel the reasons behind their villainy, offering a fresh perspective on characters you thought you knew so well. Who would've thought that the Bridge Troll was just trying to make ends meet or that the Evil Queen was grappling with a major self-esteem crisis?"It's Good to be Bad" offers a lighthearted, whimsical, and downright hilarious take on some of the most iconic villains of all time. Perfect for readers who enjoy a chuckle and a twist, this book will have you questioning what it truly means to be good-or bad. This book includes chapters on: The Giant (Jack and the Beanstalk)The Wicked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz)Captain Hook (Peter Pan)The Evil Queen (Snow White)The Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland)Scar (The Lion King)The Bridge Troll (Three Billy Goats Gruff)Shere Khan (Jungle Book)The Grinch (The Grinch that Stole Christmas)Miss Trunchbull (Matilda)Stromboli (Pinocchio)Lady Tremaine (Cinderella)Grab your copy today and prepare to see the other side of the story, where even the darkest hearts have a touch of light!

This is Bill's first book and is dedicated to the memory of his father who was killed by an impaired driver in 1975. When he retired, he decided to become a rideshare driver to get inebriated people home safely. These are humorous (and sometimes scary) adventures in the wee hours of the morning.Early readers of UBER@2AM said: "Bill is a great storyteller. His sarcastic thoughts are hilarious." "Bill's passion to save lives comes across in these short stories." "'Drunk Blonde Stalking' is both funny and scary at the same time." "His story about meeting the self-appointed God in his back seat was strangely weird." "The first story, 'Girl on a Rock', sets the tone of his book immediately."Come ride along and enjoy great glimpses into the nighttime in the Valley of the Sun.Bill is working on his second book with even more crazy chronicles of driving drunks safely home.

If you were born from 1946 - 1964 you're a Boomer. Like it or not. When I turned 60 I realized what it has meant, to us and to the Grandkids. I'm still the same inside and I don't plan on changing. The things that have happened in our lives all this time are still as meaningful today as they were back then. So, what are we doing differently that really affects out points of view about the world as it is?Somehow, the older I get the more I do things the way I used to. We didn't forget, we're just out of practice. But, some things really bring it all back to life and nothing does it more than watching the grandkids growing up. It doesn't matter whose they are.That's when you get to see that light in us all, once again. Groomin' the little ones to be witty and wild. Shake it up, have fun, tell them what you used to do and how it use to be. They love it! Our kids tuned us out a long time ago but their kids really seem to get it.That's why I call ourselves, "Groomers". Condensing GR-andparent b-OOMERS to just GROOMER, or B2G.If you want to have a nice time thinking about it, then here is my offering. Take a little time for yourself and see how much you can remember about the simple good times we had. It's a fun read. There's two books available, they are the same, only with the titles reversed. It's all how you look at it. Choose the one you like best. "Sixty From The Sixties" or "Boomers To Groomers". You can view the book trailer on YouTube with the link below.http: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmDF-XUtVI0I hope you come away with the same good feeling that I had writing it.

Imagine a world full of hamsters. What would their lives be like? What would they be doing? Well, let's make this imagination come to life by visiting the one-of-a-kind Hamitown. Your daily boost of serotonin from these fluffy little fur boys and girls!

Do you need a break from the hustle and bustle of the workplace? Put your worries to rest with "150 Ways to Call In Sick and Take the Day Off Work". This helpful guide provides you with dozens of unique and creative excuses and strategies to help you get the day off work that you need and deserve.Whether you're looking for a way to take a much-needed break or just want to surprise your coworkers, this book is guaranteed to have a foolproof idea that will get you the day off you've been dreaming of. With 150 creative excuses and strategies, you'll never be stuck for an idea again. Get your copy today and start taking the days off you need!

If you're looking for gardener jokes and funny gardening jokes you've certainly come to the right place. Some of these gardeners jokes, puns and gags are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to plug them too much, we think this a great collection of funny gardening jokes.We hope you enjoy this bumper crop of the very best gardener jokes and stories.

May Day, May Day. ¡NOS ESTRELLAMOS!. Eso fue lo que pensé cuando mi futuro cayó en picado incluso antes de embarcar en el avión. Imagínate que te ofrecen el trabajo de tus sueños en el paraíso. Imagínate que todo depende de que un desconocido, con sonrisa pícara, acepte hacerse pasar por tu novio unos días. Prepara el pasaporte y sumérgete en esta gran mentira para descubrir si está todo incluido, o no.

Il y a des auteurs qu'une préface bien sentie parodie mieux qu'une imitation ou un pastiche. Peut-être parce qu'ils sont inimitables au sens premier du terme. Mais plus sûrement parce que leurs écrits sont déjà en eux-mêmes une forme de parodie et que la lecture d'une ou deux leurs pages, convenablement éclairée par une préface assassine, suffit à produire l'effet comique. La préface, d'ailleurs souvent rédigée par l'auteur lui-même, est traditionnellement un exercice convenu, alternant cuistreries inutiles et flagorneries. Rendons-lui enfin une utilité en présentant les choses telles qu'elles sont. Relevons le goût fade du papier des pages liminaires par une petite pointe de venin. Personne n'en mourra. C'est là tout l'objet de ce petit livre.

You've seen the rest, now meet the best: The Daddy, the ultimate in bad Dad joke books!Packed with 100s of terrible gags and truly awful puns, The Daddy comes with its own dedication page, enabling you to pen an extra special message for that extra special person in your life - your Dad!Go on, I dare you: treat the old man to a copy, then skedaddle to a dark room somewhere while he works his magic, teasing and tormenting as only a Dad can. As it says on the guarantee, he'll love it - you'll hate it! No wonder with jokes like these: I've started work as a waiter. Granted, the money's not fantastic; but at least I can put food on the table...My fear of horse chestnut trees. After years of therapy, I've finally managed to conker it.I took my PC back to the shop when it wouldn't stop swearing at me. I said, I think it might be the curser...So I said, doctor, doctor, every time I go for a number two, it comes out looking like chips. He said, have you tried pulling that string vest up a bit?I asked this bloke what his American Pit Bull puppies were going for. He said, anything they can get their teeth into...Delivery driver walks into the medical centre and slams a dozen pizzas on the counter. He says, before anyone asks, it's just what the doctor ordered.This bloke emptied a packet of grated cheese over my head. I said, that was mature, wasn't it...?I rang the gaffer. I said, I'm just arriving on the south coast now, boss. He said, do you realise it's five in the morning? And what are you doing on the south coast? I said, just what you said, boss: making sure I was in Brighton early.I said, I can't believe how much weight I've put on. I might have one of those over active, erm, erm...She said, thyroid gland? I said, no, knife and fork!My pet mouse, Elvis...he was caught in a trap.

My life hasn't changed much since I was four years old, when I donned a pith helmet and wielded a huge paintbrush to paint murals inside my family's garage doors. Later, still brandishing the paintbrush of a fine arts education at Scripps College in California, and the École des Beaux-Arts in Geneva, Switzerland, but now helmeted for world adventures, I began to travel and write stories for U.S. and British publications. I married and produced two patient children, divorced and remarried, then divorced again just for good measure. Over the years, I learned about life from a cat named Dorothy, bit off more than I could chew in France, traveled Fiji with a friend named Slosh, rang church bells in England, joined a poltergeist committee to investigate strange happenings in a Chinatown flophouse, cried when I left the island of Grenada, and really kissed a frog. BOOK REVIEW Reviewed by Gordon D. Durich for Readers' Favorite Theodosia Greene kissed a "frawg" in the Caribbean. The author of Kissing Frogs and Other Short Stories drew inspiration for her book from this memory and other international experiences. Her collection of memories from England, France, Fiji, and other countries is interspersed with highly original graphic illustrations. Her drawings are inspired by formal education enhanced with world travels. Her experiences with foreign languages and customs generated true stories coupled with art. Kissing Frogs and Other Short Stories is a memoir in which travel and art, specifically beautiful and evocative paintings, flavor Theodosia Greene's work. This cannot be categorized as "chick lit," but the title and contents could be easily construed as that. Kissing frogs, or "frawgs," as Theodosia Green called them, may be something girls dream of - to have their prince magically appear as in fairy tales - and may be farfetched. This beautifully laid-out book features a picture of that very experience, which visually makes it easier to grasp and more realistic. As a man, I enjoy reading stories from a female point of view, and as an artist, I appreciated the use of original works of art. The illustrations are blissful and I acknowledge the work that went into them. They are for adults but are not suitable for young children since the drawings are too mature and suggestive. The culture clash this artist/writer experienced in Fiji was especially fun, exotic, and relatable.

This is the fourth collection of my illustrated, humorous poems.

Cuando viajas siempre pasan cosas. Bien sea por negocios o por placer, sales de tu entorno de seguridad y te expones a lo imprevisto, más de lo habitual, o a lo imprevisto que, fuera de un entorno controlable, tiene más posibilidad de convertirse en catástrofe.Viajar, como consecuencia, es una fuente inagotable de anécdotas. Unas veces más y otras menos, pero si viajas mucho y por muchos lugares como es mi caso, la posibilidad de encontrarte con situaciones extremas aumenta proporcionalmente.Son ocasiones donde el azar crea situaciones nuevas y rompe la rutina de lo previsible. Para algunos son engorros o complicaciones que arruinan los viajes. Para mi son la sal de estos.

Is it true that nice guys finish last? It sure seems that way as a divorced man fights his way through a comedic dating scene. Will he ever find his soul mate? Phil has been called the male version of Carrie Bradshaw. Enjoy his humorous essays about relationships and the struggles we all have finding and keeping lovers. Women appreciate his open view into the minds of men. Artist Mike Swaim adds to the hilarity with his brilliant sketches, giving another dimension to Phil's quest for love.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." - Mark Twain I'm at a New Year's party with a bunch of friends, most married. Midnight is approaching, and I'm holding the tallest Bombay Sapphire and tonic I can find, because I haven't found Miss Next. A married friend remarks. "Dude, who are you going to kiss at midnight?" "No idea." "Why don't you mingle and find someone?" "Maybe I don't see anyone I'd like to kiss." "Hey, beggars can't be choosers." "Neither can married men." "But..." "Careful, lad. You don't want to confess infidelity to a writer." "I'm not. I'm just saying, if I wanted to kiss another woman, I could." "Right, and you might be caught and forced to pay the consequences, which would be more significant than mine." "So, you like being alone because it's safer." "Single. I like being single, because it offers nearly limitless opportunities." "What about the sex?" "Really? You want to go there? How long have you been married?" "Never mind. Enjoy your drink, nice guy." I am nice-to a fault. Then, after being poked enough times, I stray into naughty land. Although I know it's what many women prefer, I can't seem to transform myself into a bad boy. I witness bad boys treating women badly. Often, these women complain to me about it. Then, I watch them walk away from me, and swoon back into the beast's arms. Insanity, if you ask me. This is what makes me fall from niceness. Women constantly saying they want one thing, while selecting the other. Women don't want to fuck nice guys. Women want bad boys to fuck them. There's only one way to describe it: Nice Guy FAIL.

"Only a calamity will force me to cook," I declared."Be careful what you wish for!" Mamma warned. When Kasturi Dasgupta's Indian hometown goes into lockdown, she becomes a captive of her own family. Subject to their constant suggestions that she lose weight and eat more healthily, Kasturi is faced with a choice: couch potato or chef?She chooses the latter.Fueled by her love of travel, Kasturi decides to explore the globe...one recipe at a time.But cooking in the midst of a global pandemic is far from easy. With supplies dwindling by the week, Kasturi must turn to different cultures and unusual flavor combinations to utilize her limited ingredients to their full potential.As Kasturi starts to share her creations with colleagues and friends via social media, her home kitchen steadily gathers momentum: Café Lockdown is born.Part cookbook, part memoir, Café Lockdown chronicles Kasturi's culinary escapades with a wry sense of humor and an infectious enthusiasm for cooking. Mouth-watering recipes are surrounded by hilarious family banter and gentle self-discovery, inviting readers to re-create the Dasgupta's adventurous family dinners in their own kitchens.From rich Russian borscht, to spicy Jamaican beans, to the subtlety of Japanese udon noodles, revel in the diversity of global cuisine as you travel through 21 countries from the comfort of your dinner plate.SCROLL UP AND GRAB YOUR COPY TODAY!

Conversations with Pop is a series of flash fiction stories between a father and his son as they discuss Pop's unique take on life while he imparts some of his "wisdom" to his son on everything from reading, driving, social networking, technology, and the way things used to be.

This fun and short book offers 101 acceptable moments when it's probably okay to tell a lie.Can you think of another acceptable moment not given in this book? Share it using #WhenItsOkay. Simply post a picture of the book cover on your favorite social media platform, include #WhenItsOkay, and tell us your acceptable moment.By utilizing the hashtag for this series, you can find other interesting insights and stories given by people who are free and independent...or selectively apathetic.Don't hold back! Tell us your own unique acceptable moment. You just might help someone out or make someone's day.**************************Don't forget to check out our mindfulness guides on Amazon - Look for author page Harper Daniels or search for one of our guides listed below. You can also link to them through 30DaysNow.com, @30daysnow.Our fun, simple, and effective mindfulness guides for personal and professional growth are: 30 Days to Stop Giving a Shit30 Days to Overcome a Shitty Job30 Days to Stop Apologizing30 Days to Reduce Depression30 Days to Reduce Anxiety30 Days to Overcome FOMO30 Days to Overcome Guilt30 Days to Overcome Shame30 Days to Overcome Regret30 Days to Stop Being an Asshole30 Days to Overcome Loneliness30 Days to Reduce Stress30 Days to Overcome a Toxic Relationship30 Days to Overcome Fear of Failure30 Days to Overcome Fear of Rejection30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic30 Days to Stop Being a Shitty Boss30 Days to Overcome Procrastination...and many more via Amazon...Please don't forget to leave a review...and your own unique "when it's okay to lie" moment.

If you're looking for cleaner jokes and funny cleaners jokes you've certainly come to the right place.Do enjoy these cleaning puns and gags, and although some of them are old, but some of them are new, and while we don't want to hammer the point too much, we think you will enjoy these sparkling jokes. We hope you enjoy our bumper collection of the very best cleaners jokes and stories.

"Our laughter makes our world a happier place!" This lighthearted look at health and humor takes a look at real life absurdities for seniors using the author's ethnically diverse cartoons and real life experiences. Its purpose is to help those over 55 rediscover joy and fun in life. Humor is a way to cope with hope and survive feeling that this magnificent gift of life is worth the trip. And it is. One should never miss a day thanking God for breath and the ability to smile and laugh.

Bacon + Poetry for literature and music lovers who like surreal humor.In this collection of parody verses, 120 of the greatest poets and musicians show us that bacon is more than a delicious food. Bacon is a universal symbol that offers life lessons about love, sex, religion, heaven, hell, and everything in between."There is more bacon in heaven and earth, Horatio, than is dreamt of in your philosophy." - William Shakespeare

905 certezze, 260 dubbi e molto altro ancora.In questo libro le parole assumono il significato che pare a loro, a volte gergale altre stereotipato. Talvolta greve.Parole in equilibrio sul filo del discorso è lo spettacolo pensato per il laboratorio di Zelig a cui ho partecipato tempo fa. Io ho scritto i contenuti di questo libro. A portarli in scena era il Prof. Leopoldo Propoli un coltissimo linguista che mi somigliava.

Azalea Bolton's stories take you on a journey through her life, from childhood's simpler days of bicycle riding beside the family dog and into adulthood with a life-changing blind date and memorable vacations. Her stories and memories will make you long for the days of yore.

Will Date 4 Food is a fun-filled guide for single girls with an appetite and for women who have a history of supporting their starving artist boyfriends or deadbeat husbands. This is not a book about how to manipulate men, it's a self -help book to help women learn to love their fellow man and stop picking up the check.

All aboard, all aboard!Get your tickets, if you dare, for a hysterical voyage of mirth and merriment aboard the Titanic Book of One Liners, awash with a calamitous cargo of hundreds of rib-tickling original jokes and puns, sprinkled with the odd smattering of age-old classics.Guaranteed to go down a treat, you'll discover oceans of good, clean fun, ammunition aplenty to deliver an endless barrage of hilarious broadsides upon unsuspecting family and friends. Victims will be at sea, steaming for port, desperately trying to fathom the source of the onslaught, blissfully unaware it's merely the calm before the storm. And all you'll need to do to continue the punishment is sit back, relax, and slowly turn the page... Thar she blows, shipmates; how can you possibly go wrong with jokes like these...I went to see a comedian called Humpty Dumpty. Honestly, he was so off the wall.I went to bed Sunday night and woke next morning to find myself surrounded by dozens of cartoon bears, singing The Bare Necessities. It was a bad case of Monday morning Baloo's.Egg and a sausage in a frying pan. Egg says: Warm in here, innit? Sausage says: I didn't know eggs could talk!I phoned the police after a lorry shed its load of cutlery outside our house. Asked where exactly, I said, turn left at the fork in the road... This bloke tried to sell me a mountain for £10,000. I told him it was a bit steep.I went to the surgery, complaining of double vision. Doctor Hourihane and Doctor Hourihane couldn't have been more understanding.I went to the chemist and that woman was in again, the one who used to work at McDonalds. I said, a box of laxatives, please. She said, to go? I said, what do you think...?So I said, who had a number one hit with Tiger Feet? Mud! came the reply. I said, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right...I keep thinking I'm an ostrich. I know I'm going to have to face up to my problem sooner or later. I can't keep burying my head in the sand.Muhammad Ali figurine for sale. £50 ono. Not boxed.

Sudoku Rätselbücher für Erwachsene einfach bis mittelschwer600 Rätsel, einfacher bis mittlerer Schwierigkeitsgrad für Erwachsene mit LösungenDetails zu diesem Sudoku Buch:: Viele Sudoku Rätsel: 600 SudokusGrößerer Druck als die meisten ZeitungenEnthält Anweisungen, Techniken und Profi-Tipps für AnfängerEinfach abreißen und überallhin mitnehmenAlle Lösungen im Anhang Macht ein tolles Geschenk zum Geburtstag oder zu anderen Anlässen.Diese Sudoku Rätselbücher für Erwachsene Einfach bis Mittelschwer bringt viele Stunden Spaß und Vergnügen für Erwachsene. Jedes Rätsel wird mit einer Lösung auf der Rückseite geliefert, für den Fall, dass Sie nicht weiterkommen und ein wenig Hilfe benötigen. Dieses Sudoku Buch enthält auch Anweisungen zum Lösen von Sudokus und Profi-Tipps, damit jeder Erwachsene dieses unterhaltsame Spiel lernen und spielen kann. Sudoku ist nicht nur ein gutes Hobby- und Entspannungsspiel, sondern auch ein großartiges Mittel, um das Gedächtnis, das kritische Denken, die Logik und das Lösen von Problemen zu verbessern. Deshalb lieben es Millionen von Männern und Frauen, Sudoku-Rätsel zu lösen. Es ist auf jeden Fall auch ein tolles Mitbringsel und Geburtstagsgeschenk. Holen Sie sich noch heute Sudoku Rätselbücher für Erwachsene Einfach bis Mittelschwer und haben Sie viel Spaß dabei!

I stood in the centre of the room. Transfixed with all the surrounding paraphernalia and toys at my disposal. A surge of excitement was coursing through my veins faster than cocaine travels up a celebrity's £50 note.Through the floor to ceiling windows, I could see the reflection of the bright, July summer sun, glistening off the roof of my Range Rover. Blurred vapours of heat rose from its bonnet, slightly distorting the image of open farmland behind it.I hate the summer. I detest the frivolity and laziness of it. Bring on the autumn. Hurry along and taint the leaves golden brown and decline the temperature. Wash me with cold, stinging, English rain and biting frosts that enliven the nerve endings like a back handed slap from the house prefect.The gun room at Frankie Lottrell's is quite superb, adorned with lashings of walnut, sumptuous leather and polished metals. It could be a Madame's dungeon.Across the back wall I surveyed several items of temptation. All in perfect alignment and pristine. Shotguns, in 50 shades of grey, black and brown, handcrafted and engraved by master craftsmen.But then, I froze. Totally absorbed in the image captured by my eyes. She was an image of total elegance and I was transfixed instantly. Her subtle elegance drew me in like a training collar on a spaniel. I had to have her. Right then, right now and forever.Christ, I hope I have remembered my shotgun certificate.

Are you ready to unleash your inner comedian and bring more laughter into your life? "Tickle Your Funny Bone" is a comprehensive guide to becoming a funnier person, whether you're looking to improve your stand-up comedy routine, make your friends laugh more, or simply improve your sense of humor.This engaging and informative guide breaks down the complex art of humor into easy-to-understand concepts. From understanding different types of humor to developing your own comedic style, this book covers everything you need to know to become a successful comedian. The author also provides practical exercises and resources for further learning, making it easy to put what you've learned into practice.But this book is not just for aspiring comedians. It's for anyone who wants to improve their sense of humor and bring more joy into their lives. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships or just bring a smile to someone's face, the tips and techniques in this book will help you achieve your goals.So, if you're ready to tickle your funny bone and become a funnier person, this book is for you. Get your copy now and start bringing more laughter into your life!

Looking to inject some uproarious humor into your life? Look no further than "The Teachers Joke Book" Have lots of fun and laughter with this hilarious teachers joke book. Teachers of all levels will definitely enjoy this collection of funny jokes for teachers. You will simply be rolling on the floor with laughter with some of the teaching gags.Inside these pages of "The Teachers Joke Book", you'll discover a treasure trove of side-splitting jokes, hilarious riddles, and clever puns carefully curated to bring you joy and laughter. Whether you're a seasoned educator or a new teacher finding your stride, "The Teachers Joke Book" is your ultimate companion.. With its diverse range of age-appropriate content, you will find that these carefully selected jokes are more than just punchlines; This book is a delightful compendium of wit and humor. Inside you will find many quality jokes, many cheesy teaching jokes and many funny teaching stories to make you laugh out loud. This mixture of teachers jokes will prove that teachers do have a good sense of humor. This book is guaranteed to get you laughing, so embrace the power of laughter and transform your teaching journey with "The Teacher's Joke Book." and unlock the secret to making your teaching career unforgettable, one laugh at a time!It will also make a great gift for a teacher, so whether you're buying it for yourself, or for someone else...... Buy it now!

Welcome to the Matovich Farm, only a half hour's drive from the glamorous coast of southern California. Meet a pygmy goat who rides on top of a pony, marvel at flying lizards delivering messages, participate in a bloody rock-fight, sleep in a nudist colony cardboard box for two, witness the resurrection of a guinea pig, experience rattlesnake jewelry made before your very eyes, behold how a dead seal can save a family from a watery death... But wait, that's not all. Ducks, dogs, cats, tortoises, horses, chickens, two best friends, two siblings and two parents complete the picture and, lest you think it was all fun and games: thousands and thousands of flies. A wild childhood on an acre and a half of land. Come visit, won't you?