Bøker av David Partelow

Welcome once more, friends...back to Berth, back to Lauria, and back to Elsewhere where the spirits ever flow, the insanity comes in healthy doses, and the adventures remain weird, and possibly weirder when time allows. It is Elsewhere after all. And you're back. Again. Admit it, you're not here for the booze. And so, with grit, spit, and warmish cheer, we return to the misadventures of Percival Pratchet, our sometimes loveable bard school dropout and more or less "heroic" patron of the mysticalish pub of Elsewhere. This time around finds Percival leaning well into his lot as entertainer and occasional doer of deeds that could be construed as good. It is Percival after all, he gloriously walks a fine line. And despite his good cheer, the bard will be thrust once more into the thick of a wild misadventure, full of rampant danger, seedy shenanigans, shameless shagging, and glorious misunderstandings. For yet again, Percival shall display his innate ability to hack people off with the greatest of ease and flair. And this time, he does so to the wrong person, and it's suddenly and officially personal. Now, with a hefty price on his head, Percival will have to use his wits to clear his somewhat good name before he's killed outright. Joining him this time is Fenn, the mysteriously dashing rogue and the bard's most loyal drinking partner. Together the duo will have to avoid mercenaries, fortune seekers, and earnest goobers in hopes of living another day. With the pressure rising, Percival and Fenn will be forced to face the music where victory means life and failure means being completely and royally screwed. And not in the good way, mind you.

The Vallance War Series resumes with Book Five. The return of war has taken its toll on Vallance. Assailed by an unrelenting enemy, the country's thinly spread forces are pushed past their limits. General Darius Cresul leads his swelling armies deep into the heart of Vallance, offering no quarter as he aims for the total obliteration of his enemies. Yet, through the darkness and turmoil, the people of Vallance stand ready to take the fight back to a formidable, if not unstoppable, enemy. With his choice made, Norryn Ashener ventures forth to bring Serra Landring home at any cost. Standing in his way is his Rhoneck, who longs to finally face his brother and tempt the fates. Wyndall of the Jacoi clans attempts to buy time for the young heir, using his skills to distract Cresul and draw him into a bloody clash. Yet even Wyndall cannot be prepared for the revelations to come. Elsewhere, Voltaire of the Achylles clans is charged with a daring rescue mission to Shintieu, a mission fraught with peril as the Ro'Nihn faces his darkest thoughts and deepest doubts at once. And amidst the unfolding chaos, Trennon Raymses and his group attempt to uncover a secret Thorne installation creating weapons of untold power. With everything on the line, Trennon will have to use every trick he holds to succeed, for failure will spell the ultimate end of Vallance. For Norryn and his country, the stakes have never been higher. Heroes will rise. Heroes will fall. And in the end, only one thing remains certain: The price for victory or defeat shall be heavily paid in blood.

So...this is it.Really.All stories must come to an end, even the strange ones. Despite overcoming every adversity placed before him, Brandon Andrew Morgan can't seem to catch a break for long. At the very moment he's feeling at the top of the world, fate intervenes with a hearty dose of misfortune plus interest. In a stunning turn of events, Brandon is ditched at the altar, unceremoniously single, and forced to run Haven on his own without so much as an explanation. Suffice to say, he doesn't take it well. Yet the time to wallow in such things is cut short, for a new danger to Haven and the entire world sets upon him with every inconvenience. Aliens. Well, the Allfather to be exact. A literal shaper of worlds, the godlike being has come to Earth to evaluate his children's creations and their experiment of free will. And boy, does he not like what he sees. He's so annoyed in fact, that the Allfather decrees that it's high time to wipe Earth's slate clean and start anew, despite Adam and Eve's strenuous objections. With a jerk of a commander and legions of aliens at his disposal, the Allfather will stop at nothing to see the world's life eradicated from existence, even if it is mostly out of spite. Supreme beings can be fickle too, after all. With Armageddon looming on the horizon, the heroes of Earth must answer the call in a last ditch, end-all-be-all fisticuffs for the right to live. With everything at stake and nothing to lose, Brandon and his friends will make one last stand for all the marbles. Yet even with Adam and Eve at mankind's side, the odds couldn't be more stacked against them. Despite this, mankind won't down without a fight, and you can bet your buns that win or lose, Brandon and his friends will go out their way...which probably means it's going to be weird, wild, and wonky. So hold on to your seats, cause one way or the other, the end is near. No, seriously this time.

Welcome to the world of Berth, a wondrous place of hilarious adventure, magical mayhem, cheeky shenanigans, and, above all things, insanity. Heavy on the insanity, mind you. It is here on Berth, in the realm of Lauria, that many a quest or misadventure begins or ends in a mythical pub known as Elsewhere. Elsewhere is a place of reverence and revelry, where maybe somebody knows your name, and they may or may not be pleased with your presence. It is here that a legend is born, one that will alter the very fate of Berth itself with a name and infamy that shall soon spread far and wide. For he is a bard...of sorts. An adventurer...in a way. And a hero...well, more or less, truth be told. Enter Percival Pratchet, a wildly handsome, sometimes dashing, yet mostly awkward bard school dropout and the newest of Elsewhere's entertainers. But when fortune and fame come knocking, Percival must answer the call in a very vain hope of paying off staggering college debt. Calamity and rotten luck await the bard at every turn as he faces a vast and powerful foe to reclaim a castle for a truly well-meaning and painfully dorky do-gooder. Oh, and to top it all off, there's a dragon too. Now Percival must decide which his worse, the insurmountable odds or the highly inept group of adventurers that are his comrades. Basically a lose/lose scenario in the end. It's a wild and crazy world, Berth, where anything goes. But one thing can be assured. Before it is all said and done, Percival will face great peril with his head held high, and undoubtedly make things weird. Really weird, in fact.Bards...

Welcome back to the world of Berth, that wonderous place of hilarious adventure, magical mayhem, cheeky shenanigans and...well, you get the idea. You've returned, have you not? Yada, yada, and all that sort of thing. Digression. So back to Elsewhere, that mythical-ish pub of some renown where legends are often not born, but forged from complete insanity and general, overall awkwardness. Just ask Percival Pratchet, who will likely have a song to sing and a thumb to bite in your general direction. But this tale isn't about a plucky bard school drop-out this time. No, this tale delves into something far more wicked and sinister, of a being with vast and great power who revels in the ways of the wicked and oft the wonky. Well, at least he did until he goofed and made a mess of things. Enter Bartameus the Blackheart, demon lord from a level or two of hell. A connoisseur of mayhem, a purveyor of violence, a sucker for a good time, Bartameus has made his way to Berth and the kingdom of Bussington, where he plans to unleash his wickedness near and far to stave off the growing boredom swelling within his black heart. Guided by his fury and hatred of inept minions, Bartameus throws caution to the wind as he carves a rather weird and sordid name for himself. Demons are a cheeky and unpredictable lot, you see. But his quest goes horribly awry when the demon lord, in his anger and frustration, frustrates Death herself. And now nothing is how it should be for the demon lord as he faces the proverbial music, whether he wants to or not. Ultimately changed, Bartameus is forced to walk a righteous path if he wishes to ever be wicked again. To make matters worse, he has been administered the worst of afflictions, feelings and the like, which is bad juju as far as demon lords are concerned. Now an instrument of good, Bartameus is forced to face his destiny as well as his former cohorts who are more than mildly inconvenienced by the whole affair. Good or ill, the demon lord will have to carve his own way through a journey that promises to be wildly wicked. And probably weird. Hells, it's always weird. Always.