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This 1 hour, 3 actor, 3 scene comedy is meant to be enjoyed with friends around the dinner table after a good meal and plenty of libations. The premise: The two main characters, Albert and Larry, are 80 year-old twins who have been picking at each other all their lives. They share an apartment, have just purchased a new TV, and are having some difficulty getting it to work. Sounds simple, but things go downhill fast from there and eventually off the cliff when the landlord arrives. The play has a lot of quick back-and-forth dialog so it reads like a comedy routine. It can be performed sitting around the table if someone is reading the stage directions. Actual age of actors is not important. Minimum props required: TV remote, cell phone, two pieces of paper with Awww! and Clap! written on them, two foldout brochures of any kind to function as TV Quick Start Guide and headphone guide. The rest can be mimed. If your plan is to perform it onstage, go for it. You have my blessing as long as you credit the work. Posting a review with a pic of the production would be possibly hilarious, but definitely cool. Reviews: The Lansdowne Times might call Remotely Annoying the funniest thing since sliced bread, but nobody thinks sliced bread is funny and there is no Lansdowne Times. However, this play has been fully tested and approved by 8 brave souls who, shall they rest in peace, died laughing.
Tom Ryan is the oldest of five Irish Catholic children. Through his eyes, the story of his younger brother, Harry, unfolds: "Growing up, Harry was always the shining star of the family. He was the one you'd name if you were trying to think of kids who were holy, and the one I'd list as a brown-nosing little punk who deserved to get beat up on the playground for making it hard on the rest of us. He was the one God, and Grandma Ryan, had called to the priesthood."But Harry took a different path and chose not to enter the seminary, and eventually, not to be a Catholic. When he left for college he left for good."Not that I cared, but for four years, Harry never came home. No one spoke of him at the dinner table or wondered aloud how he was doing or why he had changed. His picture disappeared from the mantle. It was as if he had ceased to exist, had never existed, that the shining star had been but a passing comet lost in time and memory. It hurt Mom and Dad a lot." It's Christmas 1972, Harry's senior year, and the Ryan family has gathered for the holiday, all except Harry... _______________________________________Read the sequel!"A Cape May Diamond," the sequel to "Four Years from Home" is out on Kindle and in paperback from Amazon. It is a story of life, love, and a journey of a thousand years, and is a must-read for those who want to know what really happened to Tom Ryan.
It's Christmas Eve in sleepy little Gambier, Ohio, and a massive snowstorm is giving the rural town more than just a white Christmas. Roads are closed, everything is shut down, and the monster outside is angry, rattling the windows and howling in the chimney. Harry Ryan has decided to stay at school over winter break to finish his term paper, but it's not going well, and now he regrets the decision that has left him stranded so far from his family. You see, as well as being Christmas, December 25th is also Harry's birthday.As he looks out his window at the stark and beautiful campus, at the icicles on the bushes along Middle Path, the snow pasted on the windward sides of trees, and the layers of vanilla icing covering the world's chocolate cake, it reminds him of a Christmas a long time ago. Buffalo Nickel Christmas is Harry's story of that special day. It begins with an ordinary boy in an ordinary world, but as a monster storm approaches and Christmas Eve finally arrives, the boy discovers that he is anything but ordinary, and the world becomes a very magical place indeed. You will meet some unusual people in this story, and hear unbelievable things. You might even see a wizard and a king or two. Sixteen forevers will pass in this book. That's a very long time. Many magical things can happen when it's sixteen forevers and still no Christmas. Whatever you do, don't listen to that little voice inside your head that tells you it's illogical, that it doesn't make sense. Listen for the whistling teakettle and be ready with your wish.
In 2096, Deever MacClendon creates Jennifer, the first proto-conscious cybernetic processor. It is hyper-intelligent, aware, and evolving. Deever wants to use his creation for the good of all, to help fix a broken world, but knowing what a powerful weapon it could be in the wrong hands, he hides it. When his secret is uncovered, he is forced to plunge into a high-tech morass of deception and treachery to avoid catastrophe and save a world where humans are no longer the most intelligent species.
The Adventures of Walter Stickle is the compilation of all three books in the series. Walter Stickle and the Galactic Rangers (Book 1)The adventure begins for Walter, whose love of sci-fi comics leads him into a real-life adventure of galactic proportions.Walter Stickle and the Goldotti of Deamus (Book 2)The dreaded, mind-controlling Goldotti are on the loose in the galaxy and Walter is called upon to save the Earth in this alien-packed sequel.Walter Stickle and the Hole in the Universe (Book 3)There is a hole in space and time threatening to destroy the world and Walter must journey to another universe to save the Earth once again.
"A lot of people in America think there is a trust-that we take your money in payroll taxes and then we hold it for you and then when you retire, we give it back to you, but that's not the way it works. There is no trust fund-just IOUs that I saw firsthand." - President George W. BushYou're right, Mr. President. A lot of people in America still think that, but what you probably don't know is that back in 1972 when Nixon was president, the war de jour was Vietnam, and I was wearing bell-bottoms, four of the U's in those IOUs came looking for their money. I'm talking about a bunch of over-the-hill seventy year-olds: a WWI vet who paid his dues in the trenches of Europe, a small-time crook who paid his in regular installments behind bars, a hotheaded Irishman who thought dues were don'ts, and a giant gorilla who... well... He's a gorilla. Gorillas don't pay dues, and they usually get what they want.And then there's me. I'm Danny Maxwell. I went along for the ride. You'll never guess what happened, but if you hit that BUY button and I'll tell you the whole story.
At the bend in the stream on a bristlecone pine, where sage grows wild in fields of mustard and clover, blooms a rose. On a vine wound round the ancient trunk, it waits for the journey to begin in a place far from the stream where the scent of the rose is but a fragrance on the wind and a promise for tomorrow.With these words, Transcriber begins. It is the saga of Benton Doud, a talented young man of little aspiration. It is the tale of his encounter with Jonas White, a sightless, bitter old novelist who has hired Doud to transcribe his final work for him. It is the story of Doud's chance encounter with a mysterious and beautiful woman named Mary, whose parting gift to him of a rose becomes both his vision and his quest.Doud's journey takes him to the town of Wenborn, a place out of time where people cling to the old ways and harbor the old superstitions, and where the reclusive Jonas White lives in opulence and solitude. Doud meets many unusual people in the town and at the White Estate, and makes many good friends behind the walls that shelter them from the outside world. But as Doud struggles to please an unpleasable old man, he discovers behind the façade an ancient evil that must be faced if good is to survive.Transcriber is a story of timeless love and unnatural hate, of all-encompassing good and all-consuming evil, of the things we can see and those we cannot. It is a panoptic vision of a world both natural and supernatural, where life lays out the path and we choose to walk it or not.
"Only three things in life are guaranteed: you're born, you die, and somewhere in between, if you keep playing the odds, you'll get lucky. What makes me such an expert? Nothing really. My name is Bam Matthews, I'm an FBI agent, and in forty-eight hours, give or take, I'll either be damn lucky or stone-cold dead. Guaranteed."And so it goes for Bam Matthews, an FBI agent at the end of his career, who in his own words "should have retired years ago, but other than my job all I've got is a dog who can beat me at checkers, an old farmhouse in Jersey with a sixteen penny nail I drove into the kitchen wall to hang my piece at night, and this Gremlin that I've kept running for thirty-six years."The story opens when a New York hit man comes to town and whacks a local drug dealer right under the FBI's nose. A complicated case to crack, but nothing compared to what Bam and his partner find lying on the sidewalk bleeding to death after leaving the murder scene: the first-ever case of Ebola to be reported in the city. This gritty first-person thriller follows a breadcrumb trail through murder, panic, fear, and revenge, drawing you inexorably to an unforgettable heart-pounding conclusion. As one reviewer said, "You can't put this book down."(Note: Some language and situations in this book may not be appropriate for children under 18)
The year is 402 A.B., anno bellum, the year of the war. The day the Great War began was the day the old world passed into history. They called it the war to end all wars, but it was the beginning of the end. There were so many versions of how it began, who was to blame, who was righteous and who was not; so many conflicting accounts and so much finger pointing that no one knew the truth of it anymore. No one cared. After the first strike and inevitable retaliations, what difference did it make who launched the first missile or which country dropped the first bomb or who was right and who was wrong? Mankind had set the world ablaze. Billions died in seconds. Governments fell in hours. Countries disappeared overnight. Civilization crumbled. After causing the extinction of so many other species, Homo sapiens, the wise man, nearly caused his own. Some said it was a miracle any survived. Others said survival was man's Purgatory; that he hadn't suffered enough for his sins, that he deserved the fate of fighting to his bitter end. This is the story of that end. This is the story of Fin.
Book 3 in the Adventures of Walter Stickle series.The evil Goldotti are gone. The Earth is saved. Walter is a hero. So why is he not living happily ever after? Because the Galactic Rangers, the most powerful force in the galaxy, have been unwittingly creating holes in the very fabric of the universe as their ships travel through the dark space beneath it. Until now, these holes have been too small to have any effect, but an engine malfunction on Scout Ship Gamma has ripped a massive hole in space and time that threatens to destroy the Earth. So once again, the world needs a hero, but has to settle for an ordinary man - Walter Stickle. Follow his adventures in this latest episode as he travels through the hole in the universe to save the world from certain doom.
Everyone's got a deal. Gracie's is complicated, but then everything is complicated in the quaint little college town of Holbright. Gracie was born there and has lived there all her life. That makes her a townie, and at any bastion of education atop a holy hill in the middle of nowhere worth its salt, that merits her little more than a look of disdain down a better-than-thou nose. It doesn't matter that she more or less graduated from there or that her father is the college physician. It doesn't matter that she dropped her Holbright twang back in middle school after her latest soon-to-be ex-crush made fun of how she talked. It definitely doesn't matter that she does a better job trimming her nose hairs than they do. A townie is a townie is a townie. Gracie is not just a townie; she's a townie working through some issues. That explains why she's in a virtual therapy group with three of the other grand-prize winners at this year's Losers at Life awards. They call themselves Stuff. Stupid name, but they do stupid stuff. Speaking of which, one of them is planning on attending Holbright in the fall, so Gracie is giving the group a tour. Unfortunately for her, it's also reunion weekend, a busy time in that quaint little madhouse she calls home sweet home. That's when hundreds of alums get together with classmates they haven't seen or heard from since graduation to exchange conflated memories, drink too much beer, smoke too much pot, and party like there's no tomorrow. Gracie has managed to survive twenty-four years of reunions mostly just by staying out of the way. This year there's no getting out of the way of the two uninvited guests coming back to Holy Hill for a get-together of a different sort. One is the past. The other is the truth.
Walter Stickle is a creature of consistency: from the time he gets up, to the clothes he wears, the food he eats, the way he works, how he spends his free time . . . He does everything the same way. Every day. Boring? Maybe, but he likes his routine. It's normal. Walter also likes the Galactic Rangers. He reads the comic strip. He collects the action figures. He goes to the ComicCons. He is obsessed with them. Why? Because despite the sense of security he finds in being normal, Walter has always dreamed of going to the stars. Just once, he would like an adventure. Just once, he would like to be the hero. If only he had the chance . . .Our story begins with an ordinary man, an anomalous pair of mismatched socks, and a comic strip. It ends with the adventure of a lifetime.
Walter Stickle is back in this exciting, alien-packed sequel to Walter Stickle and the Galactic Rangers! The parasitic, mind-controlling Goldotti, the most feared creatures in the galaxy, have broken through the containment zone surrounding their home world of Deamus, threatening to spread across the stars like an incurable disease. They will stop at nothing in their mad quest for total domination of all intelligent life. Only two things stand in their way. One is the most powerful force in the galaxy, a group of soldiers from the planet Argon who will journey to the ends of the universe and back to protect us all. They are the Galactic Rangers. The other is some guy from Pitville, New Jersey, who doesn't even own a car and who thinks it's an adventure to order something other than pancakes at the diner. He is Walter Stickle. Follow the Galactic Rangers in their latest adventure as they battle the Goldotti and search for lost comrades on the hostile alien world of Gin-Vedra. Follow Walter in his continuing misadventures as he battles his annoying neighbor, Steve "Floodlight" Williams, and searches for better cell phone reception in the most normal town in America. Enjoy the twists, turns, and the surprising conclusion when their worlds collide. Please note: Though this book is the second in the continuing adventures of Walter Stickle, the story stands on its own to the extent that there is sufficient explanation of what occurred in the first book to understand what is happening in this one. That being said, it should also be noted that, by skipping the first book, you are missing out on all the fun.
Genre: Humorous fiction, coming of age, nostalgiaAge: Appropriate for ages 10 and up King in a Court of Fools begins with a book - The Book of Tom - a journal writing assignment from Tom Ryan's sixth-grade teacher, Sister Jeanne Lorette. That's what she called it. Tom called it punishment. In it, he chronicles the adventures of the Caswell Gang, a group of siblings and friends with two things in common - their love of adventure and their allegiance to Tom, their king.The 1950s book was misplaced a long time ago, and all the children have since grown up, but Harry, Tom's youngest brother, still remembers it and retells for us one of its stories in a nostalgic, heartwarming, and humorous way that will have you wishing for adventure, too.
2013 Winner Independent Publisher Book Awards (bronze medal) for best eBook fiction.A story of life, love, and a journey of a thousand years...It was Monday, May 19th, 1975. I'll never forget that day. The Vietnam War had ended with the fall of Saigon that April, and the world was mired in one of its worst recessions ever. Unemployment in the United States was nearly nine percent, inflation even higher, and leadership lacking. The Watergate scandal had cast a smear across American politics, resulting in Richard Nixon's resignation in August 1974 to avoid impeachment, and his successor's immediately pardoning him to close the book on an unhappy chapter in U.S. history.It was not a good time for anyone and a particularly hard time for the old Victorian town of Cape May. The crown jewel of the New Jersey shore had fallen into neglect and disrepair and was dying a slow death. Once the elegant summer home to presidents and kings, it had become the last refuge of the deposed.That's where I met Tom Ryan. Tom was a king, or so he would have you believe, but unlike Richard Nixon, when Tom was dethroned, he wasn't sent home with a slap on the wrist. He was sent to prison. He was a convicted draft dodger, but one of the lucky ones released early by President Ford as part of his mass clemency after Nixon's pardon. The problem was, Tom had nowhere to go when he got out, so he took the money his dad mailed to him and spent it on a bus ticket to get as far away as possible to a place where nobody cared who he was or what he had done, a place where nobody cared about anything. That place was Cape May.As hard a time as it was for everyone, it was harder for me because that was the day I met Tom Ryan. I should have turned and walked away. I knew it when he first looked at me, but I didn't, not my first mistake, but one that would make Monday, May 19th, 1975 the hardest day of my life. This is the story of how Tom Ryan and I met and how things never quite work out the way you think. You might find a love story in here somewhere. You might not. You might find a message hidden in one of the nickel pop bottles collected by the beachcombers from some of the most beautiful white sand beaches in the world. You might even find a little mystery, but life is a mystery, isn't it?
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