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Fear is a false reality. Like your abductor strapping you in a chair to remove your eyeball from its socket while keeping the flesh attached to the optic nerve. The dissector plucks your nerve fibers like a mini guitar. The vibrations create visions in your mind that aren't real, but you think they are, so your mind and emotions react accordingly. Just because what happened was horrific, it doesn't mean that everything and everyone Rya experiences will desire her to suffer. But fear is where she feels at home as she understands it and she knows how to respond to it. She's been told to run for so long and so hard that she now runs from good things. Facing your fear is to put a face on it and sometimes this face is staring back at you in your reflection. As Rya's sands of her life's hourglass violently fall to the past with each nightmare, she must learn that she can't kill what she continues to create. And the faster she runs, the harder it pulls her back in. Will she ever cross the finish line to freedom and peace once again or will she overdose?

The scratching. The screaming. The darkness. The blood. The emptiness. There's no point to anything anymore. What am I fighting for? I don't know who I am anymore. Or what I am. I don't feel human. I don't feel real. I used to know that I was real but I'm consistently losing pieces of myself so I'm becoming someone else. It shouldn't be possible to have this inside of you. I see and feel things that don't make sense. I desire things that I didn't know I wanted and things that humans should not allow in their psyche. I've felt in ways that are similar to an out of body experience but I felt like my energy was being pulled out of my body like someone pulling out the yo-yo string as slow as possible. And it's being pulled through two razor blades. Am I losing me or am I being shown who I really am? Who is the real me? Not one person knows what's wrong with me no matter what their degree says. Wait. Am I a new thing that nobody has seen before? With the doctors not even knowing what's wrong with me, it triples the lonliness. Maybe the dark energies are showing me what I'm in for when I do die while they chip away at my life every time they visit so I'm closer to my death. The more life I lose, the more energy it gives them because their visits are becoming more and more brutal. More insane. If I'm going on an eternal torture cruise, I'm sure the death light will be foggy, confusing, and burning my flesh off my corneas rather than soothing and welcoming. There's only one thing left to do. I guess I'm just going to tell the truth. Can't hurt. Or can it? Either way, this isn't going to end well. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??