Are You This? Or Are You This?

When Madian Al Jazerah came out to his Arab parents, his mother had one question. ΓÇÿAre you this?ΓÇÖ she asked, cupping her hand. ΓÇÿOr are you this?ΓÇÖ she motioned with a poking finger. If youΓÇÖre the poker, she said, you arenΓÇÖt a homosexual.For Madian, this opposition reveals not who he is, but patriarchy, power, and societyΓÇÖs efforts to fit us into neat boxes. He is Palestinian, but wasnΓÇÖt raised in Palestine. He is Kuwaiti-born, but not Kuwaiti. HeΓÇÖs British-educated, but not a Westerner. HeΓÇÖs a Muslim, but canΓÇÖt embrace the Islam of today. HeΓÇÖs a gay man, out of the closet but still living in the shadows: he has left Jordan, his home, three times in fear of his life.Madian has searched for acceptance and belonging around the world, joining new communities in San Francisco, New York, Hawaii and Tunisia, yet always finding himself pulled back to Amman. This frank and moving memoir narrates his battles with adversity, racism and homophobia, and a rich life lived with humour, dignity and grace.