Moments I Wish I Dreamt

"I don't wanna feel better, I wanna bask in the cold embrace of my sadness. After being almost constantly depressed for this long (almost seven years) I can't imagine what it'd be like to be happy again. I'm almost scared of the idea. In a way, I guess, it'd feel like I'd be leaving a part of myself behind if I moved on. Almost as if I was betraying this small part of myself. This small little girl who just wanted her dad to pay more attention to her, her mom to be proud of her, her sisters to like her. She's been let down by so many people already, that I don't think I can leave that girl behind."