Terror in Londonistan

"Don't worry dear, we will meet again," Jake tried to reassure his daughter. The wife burst into tears. The Warriors prepared a plan for a "martyrdom mission." Jake selected two persons, known for their reverence for the prophet. "We are going to smuggle weapons into the building the night before, and place them in trash bags in the trash room," he said. "Make sure they are placed there after the trash is taken away, not before," Jake strategised. "We enter the building at 9:30 am, at the beginning of registration. We go to the trash area, at the back of the building, with the first break at 11:00 am," he said. "We will take our weapons from within the place, as there will be security checking all and sundry entering the premises," he explained. "We have to enter unarmed, as we will be searched and have to go through a metal detector. The weapons are to be ready for retrieval by 10:30 am at the latest. They will be place in bags with tags," he elaborated. "Three AK47s from the black market, with four magazines each," he added. "Are we going to kill everyone there?" asked a team member. "Yes," Jake replied. "Remember, jurists ruled that harm to non-combatants is unavoidable when assaulting fortresses," he explained. "That place will be just like a fortress, with all the security. Thus, we follow the rules for assaulting fortresses," he added. "Machine guns are the catapults," he elaborated. "Instead of hurling stones at the enemy, we hurl bullets at them. They are the stones." It was a misty morning. The town buzzed with life. It was covered in the proverbial London fog. The brains of the terrorist were also enveloped in fog of a different kind, the fog of fanaticism. The three terrorists entered the building hosting the conference. Security personnel suspected nothing, as the terrorists went through the metal detector without setting off the alarm. Their weapons were waiting for them at the back of the building. They were placed in the trash removal area earlier by an accomplice, in bags disguised as trash. The Warriors entered the room for the inauguration talk and the panel presentations. There was a break after the first panel of presentation. The Warriors met in the canteen. From there, they went to go to the back of the building to fetch the weapons. A security guard at the back of the building, however, stopped them. "No one may leave the building through the back," he informed them. Jake looked at his friends and pushed the guard aside. As he was falling to eh ground, the guard screamed into his walkie talkie: "Mayday, mayday!" "Who was that?" Johnson, the chief of security shouted at the other end of the building, where he and the rest of security staff were checking the guests entering the premises. "That was Mike, his post is at the back of the building," replied the second in command. "Team A to the rear of the building!" shouted the chief and rushed to the stairs. Three guards followed him. They emerged at the back of the building and surprised the terrorists as they were unpacking their wares. "Freeze!" Johnson screamed and aimed his weapon at them. The three guards did likewise. The terrorists froze. Two tried to take their weapons from the bags. As the first terrorist reached inside the bag to pull take out the AK47, Johnson pulled the trigger. A shot was heard. The smell of gunpowder filled the air. The terrorist nearest to Johnson staggered and fell to the ground. The second terrorist did not fare any better. Upon seeing his friends writhing on the ground, Jake turned pale. The bag with the assault weapon fell to the ground. He raised his hands. His "martyrdom mission" was finished. The police showed up within minutes. They arrested all three terrorists. An ambulance took away the two wounded Warriors. Thus ended the "Martyrdom mission of Jihadi Jake." We were safe. I thanked Allah. We had to postpone the talk due to the trauma suffered in the event. God-willing, let's do better next time.