Vote Alison MEP: The Great European Swindle

Alison is campaigning to become a Member of the European Parliament. Not her idea, of course. Alison is far too honest, legal, decent and truthful to consider such a low career move. No, Alison's campaign can only be the brainchild of a Manipulating Machiavelli of Mandlesonian proportions.Jady is Alison's campaign manager, plotting behind the schemes to get her elected by Euro hook or by Euro crook. This is partly because of his love for democracy - or so he tells anyone who asks - and partly because he knows that MEPs and EU officials have lifelong diplomatic immunity for any crimes they may commit while on EU business. Indeed, much to Jady's Ode to Joy, the fraud squad is not allowed to enter the offices of any MEP without permission. Jady sees EU diplomatic immunity as an essential asset for a businessman of his qualities.Police Inspector Brewe knows Jady of old, and the thought of her arch enemy lording it over her patch, the ancient Roman town of Spawater, untouchable due to Alison's diplomatic immunity, has her choking on her latte. She vows to arrest Alison's political career - and Jady's diplomatic immunity - before it starts. Leaking Jady's personal details to Inder Monnet and his assistant Spaak, his pro-European Union rivals, for blackmailing purposes is a useful start. Meanwhile Jady needs a hook. Something to raise Alison's campaign above that of an outside challenger. What better, he decides, than hoisting the European Union on its own petard by demanding democracy?With Jady pulling the strings, Alison demands a Peoples' Referendum. The people of Europe have never been asked if they want the European Union. It is about time they were. Alison campaigns for a Europe-wide Peoples' Referendum on whether to continue the march to a totalitarian United States of Europe, or disband the whole project. Kill or cure once and for all. The demand for a Peoples' Referendum catches on, boosted by Alison's transparent honesty, viral marketing and dirty tricks. Jady's candidate is riding high in the polls, but Inder is not beat yet. Jady isn't the only Mandleson in the running, and the European Union can stoop pretty low when it feels threatened. A referendum on its very existence is a huge threat indeed. Meanwhile, Alison shows she is not simply Jady's cipher. Loaded with principles up to the plimsoll line, how will she suffer the stench of European politics? Certainly not in silence.Add Joanna, Jady's EU supporting long-suffering partner, Jenna, forced onto the sobriety wagon and mad as Zeus about it, Hanif, torn between his belief in the EU and his desire for Alison, Young Arnie revelling in his role as illegal Blogger and website hacker, and Lifeboats' turf accountant Bullet laying off the electoral odds, politics has never been more dirty. Or more fun.